Learning how to listen to me.

Listen to your heart

So I’ve gotten behind on the challenge because honestly last week was an extra hard week on all accords but here I am! 

So I’m going to be doing two posts a day so I can catch up 😊

When I originally thought of the word listen. I really thought of the song listen by Queen B which is currently playing as I write this.

Mainly the chorus: 

I am alone at a crossroads

I’m not at home, in my own home

And I tried and tried

To say what’s on my mind

You should have known

Oh,

Now I’m done believing you

You don’t know what I’m feeling

I’m more than what, you made of me

I followed the voice

you gave to me

But now I gotta find, my own…

Why this song hits home for me is for a long long time, I didn’t have my own voice.

Even as I write this I still feel scared of saying the wrong thing or being judged for my opinion and I mean the internet doesn’t help.

The very first thing I’ve had to learn is to listen to my own voice.

For a very long time everything I did was dependent on how would it look or what will people say, what will they think, am I wrong?

Also, you realize that sometimes you change your opinion and there’s nothing worse than someone coming and saying but on June 8th, 2012 you posted on Facebook that you thought abc.

Living and growing has taught me to be okay with the haters (you could be mother teressa and they will find something to hate). To even be okay with feeling inadequate and feeling like you’re not enough. 

Because you grow from it. As you grow you continue to unlearn and develop new philosophies and ideals and most of all you learn to feel at home in your own skin.

2. Listen to your body

When this year started I was serious about getting fit. I was out there running every single day, doing 7ks, eating better, stopped drinking, and eating sugar. 

Like literally no sugar but when the pandemic started laziness kicked in. Couldn’t leave the house and all of a sudden two months had gone by.

And I remember the first day I stepped outside and walked to the shops and realized I was breathing heavily. Not from running but from just walking.

I had neglected my body so much that I was having a hard time walking!! 

I want to say that that was a wake-up call and I woke up the very next day and started jogging but to be honest it just made me depressed and stay in bed more.

It’s a crazy cycle really because when you neglect your body your mental health suffers and when your mental health suffers you don’t want to do anything at all.

I started to think of all the times that I had thought of working out in the house and told myself I would do it tomorrow. 

Or the little signals my body was giving me telling me that I needed to get up and get moving but I kept ignoring thinking that I would do it the next day but the truth is tomorrow never comes.

Yet I’m still somehow failing to listen.

3. Listen to your mind

Before I hit this depressive phase I had signals. I was slowly losing energy and getting more stressed but I was just increasing the workload and not taking any time to rest my mind.

I was writing my book, while working on our company and the other company and the other one, all this while juggling a full-time job.

There’s this lie that we told that says we can do it all. We’ve been pushed into this work mentality that if you’re not working 24/7 then you’re not being productive.

If you go out with your friends, you’re not serious about your life and you feel guilty.

That’s the worst part for me the guilt. From doing business during the weekend even my mind is screaming for me to take a rest.

Not sleeping when I know it’s just going to make me feel worse the next day. It’s been a real uphill battle and I’m still learning. 

But one thing I’ve learned is that if there’s one person you deserve to give some time to it’s yourself.

What do you want? 

What does your body need?

What does your mind need?

Don’t wait until the point were you crush when you can take care of yourself today.

Love Mandy & see you on the post!

 please increase your love and care for yourself instead of increasing your hopes and expectations to others. Not everyone can listen to you, need you, care for you as you do,

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