Becoming Amanda, a feminist, in a Christian society.

So today’s prompts took me by surprise. 

1. Becoming (Your name), a biographical piece.

2. Forcing people into Christianity

Okay so this one is either gonna make you angry, understanding or unforgiving, I’m not sure.

My first reaction was nah I can’t write about that. Cause who am I kidding. Christianity is not a choice in this part of the world.

I mean my family is christian.

So that’s the way I grew up. There’s no ignoring the fact that most of my values and morals are based on Christian philosophies and beliefs. 

Christianity was definitely a part of me, becoming who I am.

But here is where things went wrong…

The first time I felt like Christianity hated me was when I started realizing that I liked girls.

Because I’m a not gonna go there and two I’m not interested in this arguement you can check out this article (here)

The next time I realized that Christianity hated me was when a man told me that I couldn’t be a teacher in church.

Why you might ask? 

Because I was a woman! 

I was shock. Who am I kidding I was angry. 

I went into depths arguing against him and stating why this was untrue. 

Then i started reading the bible in a new light. 

Like David raping Bathsheba but we never call it rape??? 

And even other verses of rape 

Deuteronomy 22:28-29

28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[c] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

This is a practice you might know that’s led to the prevalence of child marriage. 

A child or women is raped and married off to her abuser. And I know this is still a practise done around then continent and around the world.

 In Numbers 31:15-18, Moses, after exacting revenge on the Midianites, commands his army to kill all the boys and every non-virgin woman while telling them to “save for [themselves]” every virgin woman,” a phrase which has been interpreted as a passage depicting rape.[6][10] Judges 19:22-26 depicts Gibeah and the Levite Concubine, in which a man sends out his concubine to a group of angry men, where they gang rape her.[11] Afterwards, the man cuts up the body of his concubine into twelve pieces and sends them to the Twelve Tribes of Israel.[6][12] 2 Samuel 13:1-14 involves the rape of Tamar.

To things like cheating and adultery

Men did not have to be faithful to one woman. They could have more than one wife (Deut 21:15), and even for married men, sleeping with unmarried or unbetrothed women did not count as adultery

(Exod 22:16-17, Deut 22:28-29). Only men who slept with another man’s wife or fiancée could be punished for adultery, along with the woman concerned

(Deut 22:22-26). But a woman had to be faithful to her husband alone and was expected to be a virgin until she married (Deut 22:13-21). 

Then theres the ordeal they put women through if the man is jealous, just jealous or he suspects her of cheating

Num 5:11-31, where the law allows a man who suspects his wife of adultery to make her undergo an ordeal in front of the priest to test whether or not she has been unfaithful.

Then the Lord said to Moses, 12 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him 13 so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), 14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure— 15 then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah[a] of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.

16 “‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord. 17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”— 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the Lord cause you to become a curse[b] among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.”

“‘Then the woman is to say, “Amen. So be it.”

23 “‘The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water. 24 He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her. 25 The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the Lord and bring it to the altar. 26 The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial[c] offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water. 27 If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse. 28 If, however, the woman has not made herself impure, but is clean, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.

29 “‘This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and makes herself impure while married to her husband, 30 or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the Lord and is to apply this entire law to her. 31 The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.’”


To be fair…

It was necessary for me to take a step back and for a couple of years. I hated everything that had to do with the religion.

Then I started creating a real relationship with God.

Trust me it changes you.

I started realising that Christianity doesn’t hate me and patriachy does.

And to quote the bad ass that is Mona Haltaway, 

‘My name is Amanda Marufu and my declaration of faith is fuck the patriarchy.’

There’s so many people who continue to discriminate women and mistreat gay people whilst using God to defend themselves.

But no matter your tradition, culture or religion. 

God has only ever stood for one thing. 

Love.

So why don’t we ever concentrate on that?

I no longer call myself a Christian but a Spiritualist and I’ve experienced the judgement that comes with openly not being Christian and then you add the word feminist into the mix and woooah child. 

What have I learnt? 

I’ve learnt that to become myself I needed to accept everyone for who they were. This includes Christians too. 

I’ve also learnt not to take it too personally when I get the judgemental tone that comes out when I say I don’t go to church. 

And that no matter your religion you don’t have to force anyone to believe in the same stuff you do.

I had a friend named Kayla who was born in a none Christian family and had to fight for the right to practise her religion, same way I had to fight to believe in what I believe.

We aren’t all that different. 

And love is love!

Check out my previous posts for Day 1, Day 2 and Day 3

Love Mandy

6 thoughts on “Becoming Amanda, a feminist, in a Christian society.”

  1. Loved it!!! Reminded me of one of the articles I’ve written about Feminism as a Christian. And I had an epiphany the other day about Christianity and patriarchy. I can’t write that one today but it will sire stir the waters like you just did!!! Go girl!

  2. One thing is true one must develop a personal relationship with God otherwise you risk hating the wrong person.
    Love covers it all.
    Thanks for sharing.

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